In response to my last post about the “evolved etiquette” of tango, I am chided by a favored follow and challenged about some of my ideas.
Thus I have considered some things more carefully.
I think what I was trying to express was something more and less than what I did.
There are follows whom I gladly and happily lead with whom I have such repoire that the “glance” — whoever initiates it — suffices and is understood in all its range of expression. Regardless of who initiates it. Thus a verbal request would fall in the same emotional “range.”
So, what troubled me on the day of my observation? It was that I had allowed myself to be cajoled into dancing with someone in a way that I did not wish to. In that respect it was like a tiny breach of my integrity and the “wall” of disattachment that is ironically a component of a good connection. And so my comment about the evolved “rule” was really more a self-centered observation of the value of that protocol for hiding one’s self from one’s self — a sure way to corrupt one’s dance. See, the issue was my will; not who initiated the interaction. It’s good that the “rules” are the way they are. And it’s good to have the freedom to disobey the “rules” as long you take responsibility.
